I will not procrastinate anymore…….starting tomorrow
It has been quite sometime since I posted anything here. Now that it’s tax season and I’m 2 days short of the deadline, what better way to distract myself from the unwelcome reminder of just how close to penury I am than by posting an entry instead of my tax returns? I finally got to put some money in my wallet the other day and the leather broke out in a rash. There was a fight between the habitual denizens (business cards, club cards, supermarket coupons) and the cash which was promptly ejected for trespassing. I’m convinced my bank account has a nagging personality; it’s always reminding me of what I don’t have and what I haven’t done. Honestly I feel like asking for a divorce only I’m afraid I’ll be taken to the cleaners if I dared.
I really hate doing my taxes, mainly because I feel like the emperor at that moment when it dawns on him just how butt-naked he is in his new clothes. I also hate filling in forms, which is what tax returns are mainly made out of. I could do it online but I truly detest pointing and clicking and entering and tapping out on keyboards.What truly gets my boxers in a tangle however, is a little box right at the bottom where government gloats over how much money they managed to stick up out of me.
What’s truly worse is the government’s lazier than I am. I’m betting my bottom dollar the guy who took over Zaccheus’ job is right now goofing off waiting for me to deliver my returns. I wish for a real tax collector to come round to my house, a big, black ledger and stubby pencil in hand. We’d play a little game of hide-and-go-seek for a couple of days, I’d set the dogs on him, he’d set some legionnaires on me and after cooling off a bit we’d realise it costs a lot more to keep me locked up than I’d ever pay in taxes and I really do like the smell of freedom. So the whole business would be settled like gentlemen through a regular payment plan and we’d get to do it all over again until I’m rich enough to demand a tax break or else I’ll relocate my business interests to another country.
Always put off to tomorrow what you can do today because tomorrow you can get someone else to do it.
Audiophile: So flute – St. Germain
Off my shelf: Leading the revolution – Gary Hamel
Midday Matineé: The Pianist [2002]
Starring: Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann, Emilia Fox, Frank Finlay, Maureen Lipman and Michal Zebrowski
Directed by: Roman Polanski
