I am on leave for a month and silly me, I hadn’t made any proper holiday plans. After 3 days of cable TV and an unhealthy diet of fast foods and a soft couch, I was ready to pull my out hair by the roots. To remedy my cabin fever I lighted upon a what I thought was a rather novel idea and I decided to act upon it forthwith (I love that word, forthwith – it always makes me feel so full of purpose).
Right, I decided to fulfill a childhood fantasy of mine where I explored a railway tunnel. It just so happens that I love close to a railway line and a little way along it is a tunnel that I have only seen from afar. The line isn’t known to be a particularly safe place but I figured during daylight hours, this wouldn’t be an issue. I pulled on some old jeans and a T-shirt, left my wallet, phone and identification at home and promptly set off for my date with destiny (that didn’t come out right). The railway line is a somewhat lonely place, running through the last of the farmlands and on to a little wood that few people venture into. Pretty soon I was all alone on the tracks with just the chirping of the crickets filling my ears. At times the embankment towered above me and twice I was tempted to turn back and abandon the expedition but I held my nerve and followed the winding tracks as they meandered through the countryside. As I went round one more bend (how appropriate an analogy for this expedition), I suddenly sa it before me – the dark gaping maw of the tunnel set upon a hillside with a motorway passing far above along the crest of the hill.
I plodded along resolutely, now more curious than afraid and I came right up to the mouth of the tunnel. It was scored with graffiti from those who had come before me and chose this spot to make their mark upon the world; their names and dates immortalized in stone. The tunnel herself held the pride of place with a large plaque proclaiming she was built in 1949. I looked around for any sort of grim warnings ordering me to keep out and with the confidence that can olnly be borne in ignorance, I stepped in and started walking.
I could see a little pinprick of light at the very end and since the earth wasn’t rumbling, I presumed that it was the other end and not a train coming towards me. The tunnel’s pretty long and it gets dark pretty quickly as you go along and wet too because once you’re past the concrete ends, the rock’s damp from runoff rainwater. It also had this menacing smell (yes, menacing as in scary) that oozed out of the wall but thankfully, that was it. The tunnel was deserted so there were no bats, rats and assorted creepy-crawlies to spook me out. I had no flashlight or any thing else to light my way so I relied upon how the ground felt underfoot and made my way cautiously towards the light which had stopped getting any bigger. I felt as though I was walking on the spot, the only thing that kept me going was that occasionally I passed these dark recesses on the walls that I expected a pair of burly hands to shoot out of, grab me, smother me and then it would have been curtains. As I looked back I saw that where I had come form looked just as far away and I figured I was committed so I had no choice but to see the whole thing through.
As I came closer to the other end, I saw a human figure peering in, I became really worried because so far, all my fears had been fed by my imagination but this here was no figment of it. I slipped on a wet sleeper and my right shoe came halfway off. I stopped and put it back on again and continued walking. As I came closer, I saw that the figure stand to one side and squat in the bushes at the entrance. I was now convinced that this person did not wish me well, I swore silently to myself that if I saw another head appear next to his, I’d make a run for it in the direction from whence I came. I kept to the shadows and as the figure stepped more into the light, I saw it held something long in its right hand. I decided to make sure and crept a long slowly whilst focusing on the held object. I was preparing to bolt because with every passing second, the object looked more and more like a club but the figure’s hand turned slightly and I saw the open jaws at the end of the object – it was a large wrench!
He also had a hard-hat and safety clothing on too and looked mightily pissed off to see me there. I was so relieved to see him that I almost ran but he challenged me asking who the f**k I was and I promptly identified myself verbally. Like I said, the guy wasn’t as thrilled to see me as I was to see him. Turned out he was a railway repair-man out fixing a section of track that had been vandalised the night before and I promptly became his prime suspect. By this time I was only too happy to be arrested and carted off to a sturdily-built police cell guarded by lots of gun-wielding officers. He called the local station and told them he had me in custody and was going to bring me in. I followed him very willingly and chatted amiably in response to his laconic questions.
He thought I was crazy.
Well, all we had was a bit of a chat with the stationmaster and two police officers where I’ve managed to clear my name with the help of a neighbour who runs this cybercafe in town which I’m posting from. Later on they told me the tunnel is about a mile long and I was one of only 2 civilians they knew who’d ever walked it.
Yay for me! I walked through a mile-long tunnel.
Oh yeah, I had to give the railway-guy and police £5 (which I’ve borrowed from my neighbour) for their ‘trouble’
Audiophile: Nothing (no mp3 player)
Off my shelf: Nothing (I was empty handed when I left)
Midday Matinee: I suppose that would be this incident (2008)
Starring: Me, a railway repair-man, 2 police officers and the railway station-master
Special guest appearance: The spooky railway tunnel
Directed by: Yours truly
