Bleep Bleep

The other day, I turned on the television and as I was surfing the channels, I eventually lighted on one of those reality shows that give us a glimpse of how other people live their lives. Some guy was on and we were regaled with a sneak peek into his his experiences at what I presumed was an Army bootcamp. Boy was he a potty mouth! The guy swore at everything and I do mean everything.

5.30 am: Oh (bleep) I can’t believe it’s (bleep) morning already
6.00 am: (bleep) oatmeal again? I can’t stand this (bleep) anymore
6.30 am: Physical Training: * Puff Pant (bleep) (bleep) my (bleep) legs. Oh this (bleep) (bleep) hurts
Sometime later on Vehicle Maneuvers: (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep)
At weapons Practice: (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) take that you (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) come get some more (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) aaaaaaarrrghhhhh!!!!!!!!! the (bleep) (bleep) jammed. Stinking piece of (bleep)
Lunch time: Meatloaf? (bleep) Where’s the (bleep) Ketchup?
Interrogation class: * Screaming Where’s the (bleep) bomb you (bleep) you’d better tell me or I’ll chop off your (bleep) (bleep)
10.00 pm: Lights out – Good(bleep)night, tomorrow’s another (bleep) day

Is this really reality or are these producers pulling fast one on us? I have a theory: The reality television industry is where guys (& gals ) who flunked filmaking class wind up. The cameras hardly ever give us any good shots, the dialogue & scripts (if any) suck. Lightings poor and casting’s worse. Production’s cheap and Direction’s crappy (there, I said it). The people who are profiled on these programmes are no better, they probably never even made the cut in their kindergarten recitals.

I found it hilarious that half of the dialogue was censored and less hilarious that I was paying for mediocre programming.